Wedding Verses, Sayings and Greetings

Wedding celebration cards are a chance to send the happy new couple your best wishes, or maybe even provide a small chance to have a little fun with the new couple. Just be sure you know the recipients of your card will enjoy one of the more humorous verses below!


Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. ~Henny Youngman

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ~Gabriel García Márquez

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. ~Tommy Manville

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~Socrates

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret

One man's folly is another man's wife. ~Helen Rowland

Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge. ~Mrs Patrick Campbell

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~Marilyn Monroe

A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry" is said just often enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again.... We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ~Enid Bagnold

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ~Honore de Balzac

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. ~H.L. Mencken

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again.... We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ~Enid Bagnold, Autobiography, 1969

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~William Lyon Phelps

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married. ~Kin Hubbard

Two mothers-in-law. ~Lord John Russell, on being asked what he would consider a proper punishment for bigamy

Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil. ~Byron, Hours of Idleness

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. ~Joey Adams

A question asked in a Surrey school exam went: "Why do cocks crow early every morning?" A twelve-year-old replied: "My dad says they have to make the most of it while the hens are asleep." ~Quoted in the Peterborough Daily Telegraph, 1983

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. ~H.L. Mencken

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ~Austin O'Malley

One shouldn't be too inquisitive in life Either about God's secrets or one's wife. ~Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. ~Jackie Gleason

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ~Bill Cosby, Love and Marriage

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. ~Lyndon B. Johnson

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ~Ian Hay

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. ~Jerry Hall

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ~Richard Steele, The Spectator

Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ~Henry Louis Mencken, "Sententiae," A Book of Burlesques, 1920

A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master's voice for the sake of his master's touch. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ~Andre Maurois

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ~Elbert Hubbard

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. ~Joan Didion


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